Who can help me?? Thanks
An article about me
Hi,everyone.I'm Victor.Study in HuaYing middle School of Foshan.I'm a clever and brave boy.Let me introduce myself now.My favourite food is steak.And my favourite sport is basketball.I like reading best.So,I often read some articles from Sunday to Saturday. I have got a new friend.His name is Oscar.His favourite subject is Maths and English.His favourite food is chicken.So,he looks like the bear.He likes reading,too.I guess his desier is to visit the Seven Wonders of the World.And he want to be a writer.各位"英"林高手,请问这篇文章有错误吗???
参考答案:Original------i told you what the mistakes are here
Hi,everyone.I'm Victor.Study in HuaYing middle School of Foshan.I'm a clever and brave boy.Let me introduce myself now.My (spelling mistake) favourite food is steak.(you cannot start a sentence with "and")And my favourite sport is basketball.I like reading best..(use "therefore" to sound more proffesional and this sentence doesnt make sense)So,I often read some articles from Sunday to Saturday. I have got (not good to write it like this) a new friend.His name is Oscar.His favourite subject is Maths and English.His favourite food is chicken.(Why does he look like a bear?)So,he looks like the bear.He likes reading,too.I guess his desier(spelling mistake) is to visit the Seven Wonders of the World.And he want to be a writer(not a good ending)
Change to-----
Hi,everyone.I'm Victor.I am studying in HuaYing middle school of Foshan.I'm a clever and brave boy.Let me introduce myself first.My favorite food is steak and my favorite sport is basketball.I like reading the best.Therefore, I often read articles from the new paper on the weekends. I met a new friend.His name is Oscar.His favorite food is chicken. His favorite subject is Math and English, he likes reading and writing. I think his desire is to visit the Seven Wonders of the World.